is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
