It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
