So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
