Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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