I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
