what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
