Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
