And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
worst night to have a conscience
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
