he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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