But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
