My nipple is on Facebook.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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