Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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