Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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