Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
