Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
