remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize