Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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