I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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