Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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