We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
