glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
