I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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