we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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