There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
