At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
