i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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