Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
