As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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