Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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