its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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