Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I believe in your delicious
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize