She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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