Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize