Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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