There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
