So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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