woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
