I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
