I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
