why didn't you poke me back
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
