Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
