do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
