so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
