i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Cover your peen. We're going out.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
