covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
3 2 1 whiskey
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
