can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize