guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize