3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
