Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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