You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Do you remember whose house we're in?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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