Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize