Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i think im in europe. pls send help
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
