True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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