My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just found puke in my bra..
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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