yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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