Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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