Pregnant stripper...not hot.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
