You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
