Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
That accounts for only three of the penises
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
