What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
No subtext here. People are naked.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
